The Joy of Being Online All the F*cking Time by Jennifer McCartney

Author:Jennifer McCartney
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Countryman Press
Published: 2020-10-13T00:00:00+00:00

The internet of things

“While on the space station I kept up with news a couple of ways—Mission Control sent daily summaries, and I would scan headlines on Google News when we had an internet connection, which was about half the time.”

—CHRIS HADFIELD

In 1969, we sent a man to the moon—it was one of man’s greatest technical achievements. (Speaking of aliens, women give life by birthing new people out of their bodies. I mean, hurrah for the moon, but also LOL. A baby! Women also invented life rafts, fire escapes, and syringes.) Anyway, now our astronauts have internet in space. Holy fuck, what an amazing universe. Here, let’s blast you into the place where stars live, where you can take notes on life, earth, aliens, do a space walk, whatever. But for god’s sake, make sure to keep up with the latest news.

Anyway, back to the internet in every object: There used to be a light fixture thing called the Clapper. You’d clap your hands and the light would go on. Clap again and it would go off. This was a while ago, but this tool was the first “connected” light bulb. It wasn’t connected to the internet, of course. But it was sound activated, which was a big deal at the time, and also the commercials were hilarious.

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